my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
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How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
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The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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