Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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