I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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