Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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