I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
