She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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