ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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