that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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