and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
