you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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