Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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