Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
