I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
