I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
