She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
