im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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