How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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