Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
