Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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