so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I need water and some morals
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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