its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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