well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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