Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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