I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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