god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
