Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
