I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
