never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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