were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
