theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
