You just made me feel so damn special
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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