just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize