He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
