No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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