ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
