ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.