TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
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I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
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