Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
The dick lei will go down in squad history