I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
