This is not my ceiling
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
