"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
