I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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