Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize