Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize