You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
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I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
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You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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