I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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