Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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