are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize