No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
