Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
My vagina is officially offended.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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