We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
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Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
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You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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