Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
