Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
