just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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