His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I just want nice things and good sex
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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