His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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