i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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