You can't special order awesome
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
