Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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