you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
